a blue and gold horoscope calendar is carved into an old beige Italian stone building

Horoscope calendar / image via Josh Rangel from UnSplash.com

Aries (March 21 to April 19)

Come on Aries! Now is the time to just grab the bull by its horns and do it! Oh wait… your sign is a ram—Taurus is the bull. Nevermind.

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)

Come on Taurus, now is the time to just grab the bull by the horns and do it!

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

The Nav is looking to hire a new videographer for next semester, and you seem like the type of sign that would know somebody that would know somebody that might be interested. Just wanting to put that out there just in case you know somebody.

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

Doesn’t the school year so far just make you want to go “aaaaahhhhhhh”? It’s okay to go “aaaaaahhhh” every once in a while, but now is the time to make a schedule and work hard so life can be less “aaaaahhhhh.”

Leo (July 23 to August 22)

Congratulations on making it halfway through the first semester without shaving your head. Keep up the good work.

Virgo (August 23 to September 22)

Virgo children, you will finally be able to flourish as the days get shorter and the nights become colder. Now is the time to take out that Blue Ray DVD boxset of the Narnia series as you can now spend the nights curled up in bed and do nothing but relax. Now no one can judge you for not wanting to leave the house.

Libra (September 23 to October 22)

Now is the time to seek symmetry and balance in your life. Work hard, but make time to relax. Go outside, but find time to curl up in bed and read a good book. Spend time with others, but also find time for yourself.

Scorpio (October 23 to November 21)

Scorpios often get a bad reputation, but you guys aren’t that bad. You may be stubborn, secretive, and dishonest, but when the times get tough you are always there to fight for what is right and be there when a friend needs you most.

Sagittarius (November 22 to December 21)

Come on Sagittarius, you know you can do it. You can do anything you put your heart to. Just walk out of your bedroom and go do the thing! Oh come on, you know what I’m talking about, so get up and go do it!

Capricorn (December 22 to January 19)

Hello earth sign! Being that you are grounded in tradition and family, you need to be reminded that now is not the time to see big groups of family and friends. Make sure you are listening to the COVID-19 safety protocols and regulations from the health officials in your area. Get your human interaction fix from your “Safe Six.”

Aquarius (January 20 to February 18)

So what colour is your hair this month? A fiery red? Honey blond? The same green colour Dakota Johnson painted her kitchen? You are the sign that likes to march to the sound of your own drum, so while you’re thinking out of the box, use box hair dye to mix it up.

Pisces (February 19 to March 20)

Your sign is known to be gentle and compassionate, but this means your sign is also known to fall victim to people walking all over you or taking advantage of your generosity. Now is the time to stand up to your professor who hasn’t replied to any of the seven emails you’ve sent him in the past three months. Your time is just as important as his and you have important questions about your assignments. So, do it—call him out during your class Zoom call and ask him why he hasn’t answered a single one of your emails.


Lauryn is a fourth-year Digital Media Studies student. She has had her work featured in the Powell River Peak, Portal Magazine, and The Discourse. When she’s not looking up fun facts about bees, she’s probably fantasying about Portland, Oregon.

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